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Heed this warning before you take your loved one’s breath away.
The latest research shows that sexual choking, also known as erotic asphyxiation, is on the rise among teens and young adults – and that has experts concerned about the safety of sexually inexperienced Gen Zs.
“There is no risk-free way to choke,” warned Dr. Debby Herbenick, professor of public health at Indiana University and author of the book “Yes, Your Child: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex,” in a recent statement. “While deaths from consensual asphyxiation are rare, they do occur.”
Sexual choking is a kink that often involves the dominant/submissive sexual dynamic, in which strangulation is used to enhance the sexual experience by applying external pressure to the neck, enough to impede healthy breathing and blood flow. Those who enjoy not being able to breathe during sex report increased arousal and more intense orgasms.
However, sadomasochistic role-playing is not without risks in real life. It is estimated that 250 to 1,000 Americans die each year after attempting to asphyxiate themselves during masturbation (autoerotic asphyxiation). Meanwhile, unsafe sexual choking with a partner can lead to loss of consciousness, serious injury, brain damage and, in rare cases, accidental death.
“We need to talk to young people about this,” Herbenick said in an interview interview with SexandPsychology.coma website dedicated to the work of prolific sexual researcher Justin Lehmiller and his colleagues in the field, about her work – noting that partnered sexual asphyxiation has skyrocketed in the past fifteen years.
“Sexual asphyxia used to be extremely rare and now many young adults are engaging in it,” she said, citing campus-representative surveys of college students. “In contrast, very few adults over 50 have ever choked during sex.”
A 2020 survey of more than 4,000 students found that nearly one in three women and one in four transgender and gender non-binary respondents had recently been strangled by a partner during sex – in stark contrast to just under 7% of the male population on campus.
Those numbers flipped when those who did the choking were taken into account. About one in four men, as well as transgender and non-binary participants, reported taking the dominant role during erotic asphyxiation with a partner, while only 5-6% of female students had done the choking for their partner.
The findings, collected by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion, suggest that the dynamics of BDSM are becoming increasingly normalized. It urges experts and parents to recognize that sexually adventurous young people receive thorough training in safe taboo sex.
“Parents need to get involved in these conversations because choking is unlikely to be covered in high school sex education, even though many teens are already doing it or may soon do so,” said Herbenick, director of the center .
Her research also uncovered online literature targeting kinksters who embraced “safe” methods of sexual asphyxiation. She found some of the advice questionable.
“Pressing on the sides of the neck where the carotid arteries are located can lead to tears in the arteries, potentially leading to a stroke days, weeks, or even months later. This risk may increase with age or for people with cardiovascular health problems,” Herbenick explains. “Over time, some people may experience cumulative brain injury, which is well documented with other forms of strangulation.”
For those who insist on committing this dangerous act, Herbenick recommends doing so rarely, with light pressure and with only one hand on the neck – no legs, straps or ligatures.
“Even then, there are still risks, but these are harm reduction strategies that some people are exploring.”
Meanwhile, those who engage in erotic asphyxiation have a responsibility to provide clear and thorough consent.
“Some people enjoy being choked, but expect the pressure to be applied very lightly and may then feel angry, scared or hurt if their partner chokes harder than expected,” Herbenick explained. “This can be prevented if people talk about it first.”
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